Familiarise yourself with the brace position

Recently, I flew my family across the country. Sitting next to my 4 year old daughter was interesting for more reasons than the obvious. She was captivated by the airline staff playing out the safety instructions. Her favourite part was the display of appropriate use of the brace position. She would act it out for the first 25 minutes of the flight. She would hold the safety procedures card for the whole flight, continually pointing to the brace position diagram. She was telling me, "Familiarise yourself with the brace position", then would demonstrate for me.

Riding on planes has been a polemically different experience to riding on trains, as I normally do. There are some glaring differences; and I am not just talking about the height and speed at which one travels.

One of the things I notice most on trains is the people riding them. Naturally, the people on the plane did not go unnoticed by myself. I noticed that the people on the plane are much more civil, even considerate, when dealing with their fellow passengers. I have thought of a few possible reasons for this incongruity in interpersonal relationships witnessed on two different modes of public transport.

First, I thought that the difference in the way people treat each other may be due to the fact that on the plane you get free food and a TV to watch. Two basic principles in people management; feed them and entertain them and they will do what you want them to do. Julius Caesar knew this when he made sure that the Roman masses only needed to have their 'bread and circus' for them to love and obey him. True the 'bread' of Roman fare from some 2000 years past is vastly different to the menu offered by modern day airline companies, and the circus of pre-Christian Rome is not quite the same as the airing of an episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' (although some would say that dating is very much like being fed to the lions!), the principle remains the same.

Secondly, I ruminated on the fact that most people catch a train to go to work. Not really exciting, but necessary. The vast majority of people catching our plane were not travelling to work, rather they were going on holiday. This was definitely true for me. The destination, and reason for travelling, may well have induced a higher state of euphoria, and overall contentment, in the average passenger.

On the surface, riding on trains and riding on planes is similar in its experience. One simply boards a mass transit vehicle and is taken from Point A to Point B. Yet, when one delves deeper into the experience, some glaring differences come to light. And these differences would seem to produce a different reaction from the respective passengers. In the words of an unnamed friend, and work colleague, the experience is "exactly the same, but nothing like it."

In this period of holiday bliss I have considered something else that is exactly the same but nothing like a normal experience for many of us; shopping.

The Christmas period is normally full of peace, joy and a happy Christmas and to all a good night. Yes, there are some who do not have this joyous experience. There are those who can't revel in the pageantry due to that embarrassing incident at the office Christmas party. And others do not enjoy this season for different reasons. I think one of those reasons is the shopping.

Christmas shopping is a nightmare. It all starts with trying to find a car park at the local shopping centre. Along with the other 3000 people hoping to pick up a bargain or two. Now parking the car is normally not all that stressful. Difficult at times, yes, but not stressful. Throw in the Christmas shopping and you will see old ladies flipping you the bird, middle-aged men threatening to rip your innards out and every driver becomes a potential threat that must be destroyed completely.

After you have driven around for 5 hours, offended at least 7 people and torn out half of your hair and found that car park, then you have to go inside the shops. And they are FULL of people. I swear that the centre management hire people to walk around their shops. I think it gives the rest of us the illusion that there is something worth finding and purchasing. With people, come the elbows! You throw lots of people into the one space, all of whom are trying to buy the same item, and you are simply promulgating the principle of survival of the fittest.

It is funny, in the ironic sense, to me that a season that is marketed as joyous and festive turns out to be full of stress. I think it is due to the focus on buying our loved ones next year's landfill. My thoughts are that when we get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas we become participants of the circus, not the spectators. We become the grumpy commuters of trains. When we focus on family and charity towards our fellow man at this time of year, we find that the bread is sweeter and the circus more fun and vibrant.

In short, I am going to focus on my wife and kids in the hope that I enjoy the ride of the Christmas season. And if all else fails, thanks to my daughter, I am fully aware of the brace position should things not go according to plan.